The weather this morning was cool and perfect. The grass was damp. The dark enveloped us with the chilling embrace of a sinister stranger. It was a great day to sharpen some iron. There’s no better time than the present because you never really know when the undead will rise, the zombies will walk among us, and our fitness will be imperative because only the strong will survive. So, in order to survive TEOTWAWKI (“The End of The World As We Know It” for you non-preparedness types), one must condition the whole body…and, with the aid of a sweet soundtrack of great horror movie rock n’ roll (playlist below) no square inch of the body was spared.
The warm up was the workout. We jumped right in feet first. Every exercise below was ten reps, in cadence, except for the stretches (because mobility is important when trampling the weak, hurtling the dead, and battling for your next post-apocalyptic breath), which were for a 10-count.
- Monkey Humpers
- Plank Jacks
- Bundy Squat + Military Press
- Pigeon w/ Quad Stretch, each side
- Overhead Extension + Chest Press
- Flutter Kicks
- Pickle Pounders
- Bundy Squat + Weighted Wonderbras
- Pigeon w/ Twist, each side
- Tempo Derkins
- Tempo Squats
- Tempo Dolly
- Bundy Squat + Tempo Tricep Extensions
- Downward Dog
- Tempo Diamond Merkins
- Tempo Bulgarian Split Squats (10x each side)
- Tempo Rosalitas
- Bundy Squat + Curls
- Upward Dog
- Tempo Carolina Drydocks
- Tempo Overhead Squats
- Tempo Bent Over Rows
- Bundy Squat + Moroccan Night Clubs
- Gate Pose, each side
- Tempo Staggered Hand Merkins (10x each side)
- Tempo Jump Squats
- Tempo Good Mornings
- Bundy Squat + Chinooks
- Triangle Pose, each side
- 8-Count Bodybuilders
10 reps each of 31 exercises.
Happy belated Halloween.
Those who made it are now one step closer to the physical dexterity needed to wage war on the walking dead.
- Thanksgiving beatdown at OPES, led by Uptown Girl, is at 0700, NOT 0515.
- Fidget Spinner’s Christmas album will drop next week, but is available for pre-order now. Also, Fidget Spinner’s M is working on a new super-duper yoga block that she’s launching and will soon put together a non-F3 workout that the PAX will be invited to for a demo of the product. The Fidget Spinner household is making waves.
- Tim Carlson’s bone marrow transplant went as expected, but his immune system is compromised, so, for his own protection, he’s in a type of quarantine at the hospital and needs prayers.
- Mrs. Howell’s brother-in-law is battling cancer and needs prayer.
- Prayers for harmony in the Loveseat household over Thanksgiving.
Lastly, today’s TEOTWAWKI/Zombie Apocalypse Halloween Survivalist Prep Spectacular playlist included the following:
- “Halloween (Main Title Theme)” by Dominik Hauser (from Halloween (1978))
- “Who Made Who” by AC/DC (from Maximum Overdrive)
- “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd (from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003))
- “Antisocial” by Anthrax (from It (2017))
- “Teenage Frankenstein” by Alice Cooper (from Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives)
- “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Megadeth (from Wes Craven’s Shocker)
- “Tom Sawyer” by Rush (from Halloween (2007))
- “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake (from I Still Know What You Did Last Summer)
- “Hip to Be Square” by Huey Lewis and The News (from American Psycho)
- “The Man Comes Around” by Johnny Cash (from Dawn of the Dead (2004))
- “Walk This Way” by Run-DMC and Aerosmith (from The Lost Boys)
NOTE: In the spirit of transparency, I told the PAX that “Here I Go Again” was from I Know What You Did Last Summer. I was off by one installment. It was from I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.
Happy Halloween AND Thanksgiving.